“Ruddick’s protagonists occupy a world where the foretold joys of love, intimacy, prosperity and religious salvation never come to pass,” we once wrote of Ezekiel J. Rudick’s Young Elk project. “Every inhabitant haunted by the lives they could have led, holding their stillborn dreams and refusing to let go.” Across a variety of projects and monikers like The Slow Sound and Leaky Engine, the Seattle-based artist has established such dark and weighty territory as his own. Writing songs unafraid to push into the murkiest corners of exist, approaching the line between introspection and self-flagellation and oftentimes reaching an arm across the divide.
This month sees Rudick return with ‘This One’s About You’, his debut single under the name goodgrief ahead of an EP to be released via Houston label Rue Defense later this year. And, on first listen, the track indicates something of a change of direction. For though it still possesses palpable weight, some of the density of previous releases has been lifted, the track shaking itself free from melancholic haze with an almost poppy rhythm.
However, the leaden skies of the Pacific Northwest still loom above this newfound motion, and upon closer inspection the lyrics see this grey wall close further and further in. A tale of a person coming to terms with past actions as illness descends upon an ex, and finding themselves exploring the meaning and implication of post-break-up anger. Shaded by sadness, regret and a certain cruelty too, the sound’s momentum takes on a new flavour. A sense of volatility which might snuff out or explode in your hands.
The song then becomes a balance. A matter of perspective hinging on the headspace with which you approach it. A strangely triumphant refusal to be pulled down by life’s turmoil, or else a fatalistic rush to the bottom. “I was in sad bands,” and Rudick puts it, “now I’m trying to make happy-sounding sad music.” It’s up to you to decide which of those feelings wins out in the end.
‘This One’s About You’ is out now via Rue Defense.