“I like to deal with my anxiety in the very healthy manner of repeatedly telling myself what an annoying idiot jerk I am,” explains Katie McTigue of bedroom pop outfit Pacing. “Every once in a while it works because I realize how ridiculous I sound.” The project released hatemail earlier this year, an album which leant into the idea of self-deprecation as a curious form of therapy. “My theory is that fully succumbing to the mean voices in your lizard brain can be a helpful form of immersion therapy, in small doses,” McTigue explains. hatemail tests this hypothesis, a self-directed poison pen letter which offers its characters as case studies, and by extension McTigue herself.
Writing of the “distinctively sardonic style” of single ‘Sunny <3‘, we hinted at the tongue-in-cheek tone of McTigue’s work. “Do not be fooled by the title,” we wrote, “or at least be sure to excavate its wry connotations, as this FOMO anthem does not find joy or self-actualisation at the end of a productively jammed day. Just creeping panic as the pressure to be better and better coils like a spring.” The song is indicative of the first half of the record, where the cutting edge is still sharp, the meanness still fresh. Be it coming from a seemingly personal point of view, as on ‘I Hate You :(‘, or that of a frustrated Chrissy Moltisanti (‘The Family’). But as the album progresses, there’s a slight change of tone. The edge dulling somewhat, the meanness softening, fondness breaking through like a reluctant weed. Perhaps not quite scientific proof of the value of vitriol, but a promising start at least.
Alongside the album, Pacing set up web project anxiety.place, a portal which asked people to submit their deepest insecurities anonymously. The results have been collected into a brand new video for the song ‘Who has ADHD now lol?’, where the fears pop up as an incessant stream of notifications over the archive footage and internet memes. “I am a brand new person / Now that I’ve received medication,” McTigue sings in spite of these unwanted messages pinging in at random. “Don’t expect me to be a f-up / You’ll be out of luck / Cause I’m a damn brand new human being.” This being Pacing, things are of course rarely so simple, but if you can laugh about it then perhaps you might forget to worry too much?
hatemail is out now and available from the Pacing Bandcamp page. The anxiety.place form is still live too, so if you have any burning insecurities to share, you know where to drop them.
