With the label slowly winding down, Audio Antihero‘s Jamie Halliday is reinventing himself as a modern day Michael Aspel. As demonstrated by the recent anthologies from Tempertwig (aptly titled Fake Nostalgia: an Anthology of Broken Stuff) and Fighting Kites (Mustard After Dinner: an Anthology of Fighting Kites), Audio Antihero are digging through old hard drives and giving some of their roster the This Is Your Life treatment. However, as we wrote of the latter release, “resurrecting the dead can be far more than an exercise in nostalgia or morbid curiosity.” The collections not only give some forgotten gems a second airing but also give an insight into the creative developments of some of the most ambitious and interesting acts.
The latest to get the big red book treatment is blog-favourite Benjamin Shaw. Anyone who has had the pleasure of listening to Shaw’s music will know that he is 100% the type of artist who wants to be surprised and dragged before a live studio audience to reminisce on past successes, and Should’ve Stayed At Home gives him just the opportunity. Shaw has made a name for himself with what we’ve previously described as “weirdo grump pop,” though in reality is far more than that. Combining lo-fi bedroom sensibilities with folk, ambient, pop, electronic and pretty much everything in between, Benjamin Shaw’s music is easier to describe in terms of mood than genre. Sad and cynical, yearning for connection yet dreading the implications, but shot through with something affirming too. Nothing as misguided as hope, but at least some semblance of dignity in the face of things. As we summed up in a piece on 2016’s Guppy:
[The music of Benjamin Shaw recreates] a weird sense of attachment to our situations, a form of nostalgia for a life never easy but uniquely ours, that feeling of calm wonder which visits all too rarely […] where some semblance of context is achieved and a strange joy is found in melancholy. We know we have to go back down, but for now at least, that is okay.
The weird sister of April’s Exciting Opportunities, which collected Shaw’s singles, the release brings together a range of demos, sessions and cast-offs from the inception of Benjamin Shaw’s solo career back in the early 2000s. In that way, the subtitle of Should’ve Stayed At Home: A Collection of Oddities and Outtakes speaks for itself—a gathering point where the stranger, rougher offspring can stretch their legs and strut their stuff. If Exciting Opportunities was the televisual edit of Benjamin Shaw’s appearance on This Is Your Life, then Should’ve Stayed At Home is what was said once the lights were shut off and the audience gone home.
We’ve invited Shaw to look back through the songs and provide a little more by way of context and explanation.
Ok, so none of this was my idea. Remember that, please. Sifting through old hard-drives to try and find things that weren’t instantly terrifying wasn’t the most fun thing I’ve ever done, but I’m kinda glad I did. Here we go, sorry.
Long Ago and Oh So Far Away
It was difficult trying to come up with a theme for this compilation other than ‘What a Mess’, but in the end I went for a somewhat reverse chronological order. Going from kinda new, kinda hi-fi, to super old, super lo-fi. For some reason this first song is noisy as hell and doesn’t fit any of the above.
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The Carpeteer – (The Waiting Room Session)
The original version of this song is still one of my favourites – lo-fi, noisy, no real chorus, etc. I don’t really remember making this electronic version, but it bops.
Break the Kettles and Sink the Boats (The Waiting Room Session)
Possibly taken from the same ‘The Waiting Room’ radio session as The Carpeteer above. I was clearly on a blissed out anxious electronica trip that weekend. Anxietronica? No?
Kick the Dog (Winter Version)
No versions of this song ever made it onto an album, but I’ve always felt like it was one of my best. It just never fit anywhere. But here it is. Spread your wings, little bird.
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Goodbye, Kagoul World (The Waiting Room Session)
The Waiting Room radio show in the UK have always been super nice and supportive, so it’s nice to have these tracks on here.
You & Me (RRR Session)
3RRR is the only Australian radio station to have ever played my stuff – I still can’t get a look in anywhere else. Triple R is the best.
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Home (WVUMSession)
I believe this radio show was hosted by Kathleen, the now life partner of Audio Antihero head honcho Jamie. And this session was during their courtship. I tried my best to sabotage their relationship by recording a magnificent session using a Yamaha auto-accompaniment keyboard, but Jamie used his One Veto and made me re-record the whole thing. I like to think that by graciously relenting, I single-handedly saved their relationship.
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How to Test the Depth of A Well (RRR Session)
In which I dream of the British royal family dying a terrible death at sea. No survivors 🙁
Pig (The Waiting Room Session)
Pig! From the lesser-known Rumfucker album. One of the few songs of mine from 2010 I still really like!
Chocolate Girl (Versatile Singer-Songwriter Version)
Ah, we’re getting into Ye Olde Recordings territory now. This was recorded in Tottenham around 2006 i think. One of the first songs from my decade in London and the beginning of a slow decent into madness. This was my first and last attempt at a murder ballad, it’s kinda too cryptic to work in that way tbh, but there’s still some nice imagery in there.
When I Fell Over in the City (HiFi Version)
Written in Melbourne sometime in 2005 and recorded in my friend Rich’s shed. This was the first time I wrote a song and it came out all in one go like a fully formed HIT. It was super cool at the time, and really felt like I’d somehow made something special. Obviously, I’m thoroughly ashamed of it now though, because I hate myself.
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You Don’t Drink Tea Do You?
Another one recorded in Rich’s shed in Melbourne, with Clayton on the synths. Clearly this song is all about relationship anxiety, but this was such a nice time in my life. I’d moved across to the other side of the world, on a whim, to live my internet girlfriend, and in the process made so many amazing friends. These guys were so supportive to me. Clayton owns a record shop now, Rich writes the best Scottish folk songs you’ve ever heard, and I have not met up with either of them since being back in Melbourne because I’m a terrible person.
Thanks for All the Biscuits (Versatile Singer-Songwriter Version)
Back to London! And I feel like this recording was the genesis of what would become the I Got the Pox EP. It felt new and slightly more direct than what I’d done before. Less metaphor, more misery. And made me want to specifically set out to make something complete and coherent instead of just random nonsense. Shame my mixing and mastering abilities didn’t have the same idea, lol.
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Sparrows over Tottenham
I’m sorry to say that this is a direct rip off of both Neil Young and Bright Eyes. I showed it to a friend one time and he was like (all innocent) “ahh cool, this bit sounds just like Harvest by Neil Young!” and I was like “ahhh ffs “So yep, verse – ‘Harvest’ by Neil Young, chorus – ‘If Winter Ends’ by Bright Eyes. I like the bridge though!
Twisting Turning Killing Learning
Boom! Check out the piano on this baby! It is absolutely not by me! My friend David Wright played that. I met him on the internet (like most of the relationships in my life) and he was the first person that really gave me the support and encouragement that I didn’t know I needed. Most people in my life at that point just kinda took the piss out of my daft wee songs, but good friend Dave really made me feel like I was onto something and that I should continue. Recorded at his house in Lancaster around 2004. Onya, Dave.
Down
Ok, this is it. Song 1. My patient zero. Recorded on one of those little cassette recorders with a handle around 2002/03 I think, and I was D-E-pressed. As you can probably tell. I’d written plenty of songs before, I was like 20 by this point, but I feel like this was the first song I’d written that actually sounded like me, rather than imitation. Old misery guts here. Smiler. Saggy Jim. Mope John Paul II.
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Thanks for reading, if you got this far. Here’s to whatever is next in our lives. Make art. Read comics. All cops are bastards, etc.
Both Should’ve Stayed At Home: A Collection of Oddities and Outtakes and Exciting Opportunities: A Collection of Singles and Sadness are out now via Audio Antihero and you can grab them from the Benjamin Shaw Bandcamp.
Photos by Aisha Latosski